Abusing Forgiveness
by AlxM
Summary: The brothers are becoming distant, with Sam's betrayal to his brother, and Dean's unwillingness to forgive him. Although, that changes when he's sent to an alternate universe to a badly abused Sam whose been abused by the AU him.
1. Chapter 1

_Author's Note:_

Hey guys! Like almost all of this was written by the mobile. :P So I'm massively sorrrryyyy for the mistakes, I checked a few times so I don't really think there are any..

Well, heres the re-write you guys have been waiting for, and like I said, different chapters, so yup. :) Enjoy.

And excuse my amateur writing. :D

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><p><em>Set:<em>

Season 4, Episode 22, Lucifer Rising.

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><p><em>Summary:<em>

The brothers are becoming distant, with Sam's betrayal to his brother and and Dean's unwillingness to forgive him, though that changes when he's sent to an alternate universe to a badly abused Sam whose been abused by the (AU) him.

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><p><strong>Chapter 1<strong>

Dean Winchester and Sam Winchester somehow made their way out of the convent and ran as fast as they could to Ruby's car, away from the convent, away from the bright white light flashing out from every corner of the convent, the light that indicates that Lucifer has indeed, arisen.

They got inside the car, Sam in the passenger seat, Dean in the driver seat and drove away on full speed.

Dean stared straight ahead, not even risking one glance at his little brother because he didn't want Sam to look at the betrayal in his eyes, to see how much it actually hurt to be chosen over by a demon despite him always choosing Sam. Hell, he had even chose Sam over himself.

Sam stared absent-mindedly at Dean. He wanted so bad to apologize to his brother, to tell him how sorry he really was, even he didn't know that.

But that just wouldn't solve anything, it was clear and he knew it was true. He betrayed his brother, his very own flesh and blood, his protector, his world, his life, the man who gave up his childhood for him, the man who loved him despite his imperfection, who forgave all his mistakes.

And then Sam made a decision. He _will_ apologize to his brother, right here, right now, perfect time for it. Dean couldn't get away from this conversation. Although he didn't really expect him to forgive him, and it shouldn't really surprise him. But whether he forgave him or not, he just wanted him to know that he was truly sorry.

Just that moment, Dean's phone rang out. He took out the phone from his pocket and stared at the screen, Bobby's name flashing on the screen. He answered and lifted it to his ear.

"Hey Bobby." Dean said tiredly.

"Where the hell are ya stupid idjit, did ya find Sam?" Bobby asked in his gruff voice.

"Yeah... I found him." Dean told him, sighing softly.

Bobby heaved out a sigh of relief, "Good, now I want you damn idjits at my house, right this moment." Bobby said, and by the tone of his voice, Dean knew Bobby wouldn't take 'no' for an answer so he went along with it.

"Thanks Bobby." Dean smiled half-heartedly.

"No worries, now get your butts here, hurry."

"We're there in a few hours." Dean said, smiling.

"Okay, bye."

"Bye." the other line started beeping and Dean put his phone back inside his pocket.

Sam stared at Dean, "So, what does he want?"

Dean stayed silent for a minute, "He was asking us to come to his house."

No further explanation needed. By the sound of their conversation, Dean accepted the offer, apparently Bobby would've kicked their butts if they said no.

Sam took a deep breath and spoke.

"Dean.. I'm-"

"Don't Sam.." Dean cut him off, "I don't wanna talk right now, I.. I don't wanna talk to you.." He sighed, "Sam, I forgave every single mistake of yours, all of them.. From small to great ones, but you betrayed me, you chose a demon over me when I chose you over everything, everyone, including myself, I'm sorry.. I just.. I can't forgive you for this one."

Sam nodded slowly, the puppy dog eyes he was staring at Dean with filled, his throat going tight.

"Yeah.. I.. I understand that." he managed to get out. and looked out of the window.

Dean's eyes were filling with tears but Sam didn't notice at all.

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><p>Two months later, Dean wouldn't talk much to his brother. In fact, he'd barely talk at all. Sam wouldn't push. He and Bobby would read books and try to know more about the apocalypse. They didn't go on a hunt these past weeks either because Dean wouldn't be in the mood. He'd tell Sam he's not ready, but the truth is that it's getting hard to trust his brother, though he didn't tell Sam that.<p>

Sam came out from the bathroom after taking a shower in his sweats and t-shirt, his eyes drifted to Dean who was sitting up on his bed and flipping through channels.

Sam walked to sit on the edge of his bed and dried his hair off from the towel that was on his shoulders.

Dean turned the TV off and just sat there silently.

"I need you to find a hunt for us tomorrow morning before I wake up." he said, expressionless, blank face.

It wasn't exactly an order or anything and he just felt the need to hunt to get his mind off things. He knew Sam was a morning person as he always woke up before Dean, getting breakfast and then getting on his laptop looking for hunts.

Sam nodded, "Alright."

Dean laid down on his bed, no 'good nights' like the old days. Sam stared at Dean as he turned on his side, his back to Sam. He then laid down on his own bed and curled on his side, facing Dean's back.

What they didn't know was that there was an invisible figure watching them sadly.

The figure showed himself visibly and walked to Dean, rested his hand on his forehead.

"I hope you understand the reason behind this... you need to forgive your brother if you want to stop the apocalypse, Dean."

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><p>HI GUYS! :D<p>

Well, thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy the chapter, have a nice day.

And no it's not Dean's fault at all, I'm actually on both sides, fifty fifty! :D

It's like a djinn you know, in reality, you're sleeping but you're actually in an AU.

Yeah, I know all my fic's first chapters are angsty and all.. :P I can't help it.


	2. Chapter 2

_Author's Note:_

I wouldn't be confident with myself, I can only hope you guys enjoy my story. :)

Love you all.

I want you all to read purplehairedwonder's stories, they're awesome, and they inspired me.

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><p><span>Chapter 2<span>

Sam woke up instantly closing the loud annoying ringing sound of the alarm clock that caused his brother to move slightly, he looked over at Dean fearfully, hoping it didn't wake his brother and thankfully it didn't, he slept at two in the morning and now he's waking up at five thirty in the morning, he still felt sleepy but he had to find a hunt because last night Dean told him so, he got off the bed slowly knowing if he moved too fast, it'd send a sharp pain through his body from all the bruises he collected these past two months, he brushed his teeth, took a shower and wore back the same clothes he'd been wearing, he took his laptop and put it on the desk that Bobby had set up for them in this room, he sat down on the chair and started the laptop, he yawned, he felt like keeping his eyes open and holding his head up for another 24 hours seemed like such an impossible task.

He laid his head down on the desk ahead of the laptop, he barely had time to sleep these days, a few minutes of sleeping shouldn't hurt, right? He'll just wake up before Dean would and find a hunt in a few hours, since Dean wakes up a few hours after him and then he'll get breakfast for him, he closed down his hazel eyes and fell into a peaceful sleep, something he hardly gets these days.

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><p>Dean woke up at nine in the morning groggily, rubbing his eyes, he turned his head to the other bed and saw that it was empty, he jerked up and felt panic rise in him, even though after ignoring his brother for two months, even though he didn't forgive him, he still cared about him, no matter what, he's still a big brother, he looked around the room and his green eyes landed on a hunched body sitting on a chair, head down on the desk and breathing evenly.<p>

He sighed of relief at seeing his brother, he couldn't help but wonder though, something just smells fishy, something just doesn't feel right, wasn't Sam a morning person? But today he's sleeping till over nine, he looked at the laptop, probably intending to look for a hunt because Dean told him to last night but instead fell asleep.

Dean got up slowly, his bed made a creaking sound as he did so which was enough for Sam to jolt awake at, he stared at Dean fearfully, like an abused child, he watched as Dean got up and asked him blank faced, the missing tone of perkiness.

"Did you find a hunt?" Dean asked.

Sam slowly got up and stood silently, shamefully and didn't answer his question.

"Sam?" Dean asked with his eyebrows raised, It was strange, he looked ashamed and he wouldn't answer.

Sam stood quiet, he looked frozen.

Sam's heart was thudding hard against his bruised chest, he felt so stupid to just fall asleep like that, Dean isn't going to leave him for this but he couldn't help or stop the apology that burst through his lips.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I accidently fell asleep, I'm so sorry." Sam kept apologizing.

"Sam!" he yelled, though not loudly or from anger, just to get his attention.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." he kept murmuring apologies, staring down at the floor.

Dean walked closer and that caused Sam to fall to the ground in fear, he stared at Dean with his puppy dog eyes, swallowing down the lump.

Dean wanted to calm his brother down, he walked closer and crouched infront of Sam, who started screaming out his apologies, when Dean put his hand on his knee, he tried to kick Dean away, but Dean got a hold of his legs down.

"I'M SORRY! PLEASE DEAN! I'M SORRY!" Sam screamed.

"SAM! CALM THE HECK DOWN!" he raised his voice, since Sam started screaming, he started trying to push Dean away but Dean got a hold of his wrists, sitting on his legs and pinned him down to the floor.

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><p>Bobby downstairs listened quietly to Sam's screams of apologizes, making his own eyes tear up, it took all of the old man's strength to not run up there and stop everything, but the damn idjit made him promise, if it weren't for his puppy dog eyes and tearful pleadings, he would've never made that damn promise<p>

_"Bobby.. Dean's changed." he whispered brokenly, "he's becoming someone else.. So i don't want you to get involved in this because.. This is between me and Dean, he's changed.. He's different.." he turned to Bobby, "you gotta promise me you wont get involved in this.. Please.." his eyes welled, he stated at Bobby with his puppy dog eyes._

Bobby was a hard-hearted grumpy old man after the death of his wife until the Winchester boys came into his life, but even then, he could hide his soft side but now.. He can't even pretend anymore.

The screaming apologies broke his his heart into pieces.

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><p>Dean didn't wanna do this especially because of the state his brother was in but he has no choice, he doesn't understand what got into his brother, but he had to stop his screaming.<p>

He smacked Sam across the face, though the regret grew inside of him as he watched Sam's cheek press onto the floor and saw his tears fall from the corner of his closed eyes, whimpering, leaving nothing but whispering apologies and sobs that jerked his whole body.

And he got a good look at his face, his cheek and jaw was bruised, he had dark circles around his baggy eyes, his eyes moved to his clothes that had specks of blood on them which Dean didn't understand where they came from, his little brother was completely fine last night.

He freed Sam from his grip when he realized that Sam had calmed down, he quieted down and laid there, his body jerking from sobs.

He turned away from Sam, his back to him and washed a hand down his face.

"W-Won't you beat me anymore?" he asked like a little kid, the same kid Dean held after the horrifying nightmares consumed him, the same kid Dean wanted for to stay innocent.

"Dammit Sam!" he yelled, "Why do you think I'll beat you up for not finding us a freakin' hunt?"

"B-Because I didn't do what you told me to.." he looked down.

Dean stared at Sam, something was different.. He feels like he's in a different universe because this just can't be his own world, why would he abuse his brother? The same brother he swore to protect all his life.

But how did he get here? and why?

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><p>Hey guys! I hope you enjoyed this annd pleeease review, :D<p>

OH YEAH! I'm such a hard working person, the whole chapter was written in my mobile.. Haha.


	3. Chapter 3

_Author's Note:_

Hey guys, I hope you enjoy my stories. :)

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><p><span>Chapter 3<span>

**Real Universe**

It's almost ten'o'clock. After finding a hunt, Sam went out to get some groceries Bobby sent him for, while Bobby was doing what he's been doing a lot lately, researching on the apocalypse. Dean was.. still sleeping.. which worried Bobby a little. Dean's not really a morning person but he doesn't sleep this much either, but he didn't really do anything about it, because he figured maybe Dean was just exhausted for some reason? They didn't go on any hunts recently so he wondered what can really exhaust the older Winchester?

He heard the door open and close from his place in the library, hearing the familiar footsteps of Sam.

"Hey Bobby." He smiled at Bobby from the doorway, holding grocery bags and walking in, placing the bags down on Bobby's lap, earning a glare from Bobby before he looked back down at his book.

"Hey Sam." He said, his nose buried in the book.

"I got the stuff you wanted." Sam said and sighed. "Is Dean awake yet?" he asked.

Bobby looked at Sam and shook his head. "Dunno why. He's sleeping late today." he told him worriedly.

"Have you tried waking him?" Sam asked.

"No, I thought for some reason, I should let him get some more sleep." Bobby shrugged. "But you should go try ta' wake him."

"But Bobby..." he started to excuse but got cut off.

"Sam, you can't avoid him forever, ya know."

Sam sighed, lowering himself to sit down on the chair as he shrugged and clasped his hands together, elbows resting on his lap. "I dunno Bobby. He's avoiding me, so I'm avoiding him too. I just don't have the guts to talk to him, not after what I've done, after what he said. God, I've betrayed him, Bobby, even after knowing how he feels about that."

"Well, I think it's time you boys stop this, 'cause if you guys wanna hunt together or stop Lucifer, you're gonna have to be a team...you're gonna need to get over your mistakes, and move on."

Sam stared into an empty space on the floor, taking in Bobby's words and sighed, turning his eyes to Bobby, "I guess we both are so screwed up, huh?" He smiled mirthlessly.

Bobby nodded. "And you both need to fix your whatever's between you two and apologize." He rested his hand on Sam's shoulder. "And I think _you_ should take the first step."

"Bobby, I tried to apologize that day in the car, but..."

"Well, I think it was too soon to apologize...your brother needed time, Sam."

Sam took a deep breath and nodded.

"Okay." He smiled. "Thanks Bobby."

"No problem. Now go wake your sleepy-assed brother up."

Sam chuckled and got up, walked off upstairs to the room Bobby had set up for them, the room he and Deam shared.

He pushed the door open gently and slowly walked in, his eyes on the sleeping form of his older brother who laid on his stomach, one hand hanging off the bed, the other under his pillow. And he noticed that since the morning he woke up and saw him, his brother hadn't moved an inch. He vaguely wondered if he should be worried about that.

He sighed as he stood over his brother.

"Dean." He called out gently. Dean didn't move an inch, so he tried again. "Dean.." still no movement.

"Dean?"

He tried a little louder this time. "Dean." He bent and put his hand on Dean's shoulder and shook him lightly, still no movement, and once again yelled his name out. "Dean!"

He shook him harder and screamed his name out loud, and yet he still didn't move.

This time, he started shaking him wildly and screamed his name out frantically. "DEAN!" He screamed, but his brother still didn't move...not even a little.

Panic had already arose in him as he fell on his knees beside his brother and screamed his name out, shaking him wildly, tears welling up in his eyes. His voice cracked from his constricted throat.

His screaming stopped, but not before Bobby ran upstairs to see what happened.

"Dean, please.." He pleaded brokenly, his voice only a whisper. He was kneeling beside his brother, covering the hand that was left hanging with both of his own, dried tears down his cheek. "Please wake up.." He whispered pleadingly.

"What happened?" Bobby asked concernedly.

Sam looked at Bobby with his pleading eyes. "Bobby.." He breathed out his name. "He isn't waking up...he - he isn't even moving.." He stared at Bobby with his red tear-filled eyes.

He can't lose his brother, not again, not after everything, not before they fix everything that's between them.

Bobby walked up to Sam and crouched down beside him and rested a hand on his arm.

"It's alright, son." he sighed at his white lie. "Dean's gonna be okay." he said in his gruff but soft voice.

Sam stared at Bobby with his red puffy eyes, streaks of dried tears down his cheek, then slowly nodded.

Bobby put his hand in front of Dean's nose, feeling him breathing finely, then checking his pulse which was fine too, and a feeling of relief but confusion washed down on him.

"Thank God." Bobby whispered.

"I-Is he alright?" Sam asked.

"Yeah, son." Smiling softly.

"What's wrong with him?" Sam asked, almost sounding child-like.

Silence before Bobby answered his question. "I don't know."

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><p>Hey guys! I know, short chapter but I wanted to save the rest for later chapters and it's in my profile, my stories are not lengthy, and I'm telling you, believe it or not, I do try to make my chapters longer but then my mind would go <strong>*BLANK*<strong>. :P

I hope you enjoy. :)


	4. Chapter 4

_Author's Note:_

Hi guys! I just wanna thank you all so much for your amazing reviews, :)

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><p><span>Chapter 4<span>

**Alternate Universe**

Dean sat on the chair of Bobby's kitchen behind the table while the two other figures, Sam and Bobby, roamed around the kitchen. He sat lost in thoughts and wonders, staring unfocused at the empty space in front of him on the table, questions running through his mind such as, how did he get into this world and why? Who sent him here? And more questions passed through his mind, why would —the '_AU_' he abuse the Sammy of this world? He would never even dream of that, not in a million years. He would never think of abusing his little brother like that. He would never wanna be the cause of all those ugly bruises on his face, and who knows what more bruises are there on his brother's body. He finally looked up from the nothing he was staring at and his eyes landed on his brother's back, who was helping Bobby do the dishes. He wanted to know why—Why this world's Dean would wanna do that? Was it because Sammy started the apocalypse? Because to him, if his brother _is_ the cause of really ending the world, he'd still never do what _he_ does to his _own_ baby brother.

Sam broke the last seal but he broke the first one too, so they both share the blame.

He realized that Sam noticed by now that he was looking at him, even though his back was at him. Anger decorated his features, and of course not at Sam but—at this guy who has his face, his name, maybe even his interests but definitely, _not_ his attitude. He noticed that Sam looked scared, his actions showed that so, because he was holding a plate tightly with both of his hands, and they both were shaking uncontrollably from fear. He swallowed right after he gave a quick glance at Dean. Dean knew he looked mad with his fists clenching and un-clenching tightly and angrily, and with his features showing pure rage as he stared absent-mindedly at Sam, so he changed his gaze back down at the table quickly when he realized that Sam probably thinks the anger was directed at him.

He thought about Sam, his own Sam—Is he fine?

He wondered if this is all supposed to be a lesson for him. God, iis this how Sam felt these past two months, scared? _No way, _Dean thought firmly. Sam wasn't really scared of his own brother, right?

His thoughts were crushed by the sound of breaking glass, and he looked over to find Sam on his knees, behind the broken pieces of a plate, panicking as he desperately tried to bring them all in one place and pick them up. Bobby ran beside him to help him. He cleaned up everything and threw all the glass shards away while Sam just sat there, waiting for his punishment, waiting for the abuse.

Dean stood up and started walking slowly over to Sam, knowing if he walked too fast it would scare Sam and make him think he was angry, that he's going to hurt him.

He looked up at Dean walking towards him, his heart beating rapidly against his chest, his eyes filling with tears.

"I'm sorry, Dean." He stared at Dean with wide, dewy eyes that showed terror in them. Innocent and childlike and he really was sorry. "I'm so sorry, please don't hit me." He whispered, swallowing.

Sam's begging broke Bobby's heart. Bobby wanted to walk in front of Dean and stop him right —but he promised. He remembered Sam's pleading and tearful eyes. He wanted Dean to change. He'd never tell Sam but, he cries every night for the kid. The past two months were the worst days of the old man's life, even though he's been through the same thing from his own father, it hurt even worse watching Sam go through it, from the same man who's always been so over protective of his brother.

Dean knelt down in front of Sam, his brother's tearful and fearful eyes following his face, flinching.

But what he said, surprised them both.

"You alright, Sammy?" Dean asked softly.

Sam sat astonished. He really didn't know how to react. Why was he asking him that? He expected the rough pull to his collar, being punished.

But instead— so he just nodded slowly after a while.

Dean's eyes fell to the back of Sam's both hands. He could see little of his palms, but there were blood on them, and it was soaking his brother's jeans. He moved his hands— that were resting on his lap—and turned Sam's hands by his forearms, and Sam visibly flinched at the touch. There were two glass shards stuck on his palm, both an inch in size and the other had three, stuck deep into his palms, also about an inch in size. He lifted his sleeves and the burn marks around his wrists that looked like he'd been handcuffed didn't go unnoticed by Dean.

"God.." He whispered to himself at the burn marks, inaudible to anyone else.

Sam stared at his damaged hands, he looked up at Dean, whose expression was of anger and for a second, he thought it was directed at him. Part of him had been waiting for his older brother to hit him or something.

Until—

"Bobby, bring me the first aid kit!" He ordered.

Bobby nodded and walked off to bring the first aid kit, a small smile on his face as he looked back at the brothers once, before walking off.

"You know, you didn't have to hide that from me, Sammy." Dean looked up at Sam and smiled softly.

Sam was still shocked slightly. He really wanted to ask him that why he is doing this, But he didn't. Instead, he just stared quietly at Dean, his eyes showing pure adoration, and _hope_.

Bobby finally returned with the first aid kit, and sat beside Dean.

"Thanks Bobby." he smiled.

He carefully pulled the glass off his brother's hand from the tweezers, which caused Sam to clench his eyes in pain. He cleaned off the blood on his palm and wrapped the wounds with a gauze, and also treating the burn marks around his wrists.

"Th-Thanks." Sam said quietly after a few seconds, his gaze still fixed down on the floor.

Dean smiled softly, ruffling his hair affectionately which earned him a surprise look from the gesture.

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><p>Sam sat quietly with his knees up to his chest, his arms wrapped around it, beside Dean on the couch, watching a horror movie. To Sam, today was a surprising day, because he was really awed Dean even asked him to watch a movie with him. He liked it though. They haven't done this for a long time, with all that apocalypse, demons and angels, they never had time, though the world is still coming to an end. And they haven't been the same anymore either.<p>

He was a still a bit scared to be around Dean though.

He was tired too. He hadn't been sleeping very well these past two months, but he tried his best to keep his eyes openm because he wasn't sure if there would ever be a moment like this ever again, sitting peacefully beside his brother, watching a movie.

Dean huffed. "Can you believe that, Sammy? We've seen so much worse than that." He waited for an answer, an agreement or something. He looked at Sam, whose eyes were closed and his head was tilted slightly towards Dean's shoulder, curled up. His arms fallen to his feet, and he was breathing evenly.

He never really felt the hand on the side of his head that pulled him to the comfort of a shoulder, or the arm that was around his waist that pulled him closer.

And they never saw Bobby on the doorway, leaning against the wall and watching them with a smile on his face, watched as Dean kissed his little brother's head.

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><p>Aaaaaah! DEAN'S SUCH AN AWESOME BROTHER! YEAAH.. haha, I'm gone crazy.<p>

I hope you enjoyed this one too. :)

Review please. :)


	5. Chapter 5

_Author's Note:_

THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR SUPPORT! I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH :D  
>And a huge <strong>MASSIVE<strong> thanks to AlElizabeth for helping me through the writer's block. :)

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><p><span>Chapter 5<span>

Dean woke up to the offending sunlight shining on his face, shielding his face away from the sun. He blinked his unfocused and blurry vision, and he moved his head to his little brother who slept innocently on his big brother's shoulder, like the 5 year old who came running to his brother after a horrifying nightmare, climbing into his bed and resting his head on his shoulder. He smiled lightly at the old memory, and at his brother. Despite the barely healed bruises, he still looked so child-like.

He slowly eased his brother's head away from his shoulder and gently rested it on the on the arm of the sofa after making his way out of the blanket that probably Bobby had put on them, pulling the pale blue blanket higher to his brother's shoulder. He knelt beside the sofa, carding his hand through his brother's hair once before getting up and walking off to take a shower.

He walked upstairs to the room, noticing the specks of blood on the walls and the carpet, bile rising in his throat. He quickly dug in h_—_the duffel bag for clothes and walked in the bathroom.

He walked inside the shower, letting the water spray down on him. He wondered if Bobby could help, because he really needed to go back to his own universe. He really can't stay here forever, it's just_—_not his world_—_maybe he should ask Bobby for help, _try _to make him understand that he's not from their world_—_which, of course, would earn him a '_you're freakin' crazy_' look from him, but he'll try to make him understand.

But first, he needs to send Sam out. He can't let Sam know that. He had seen the hope in his baby brother's eyes when he bandaged his injured hands, had offered to watch a movie with him. It would shatter that hope if he told him that he wasn't _his_ Dean.

He closed the shower, wore his clothes on and opened the door, walking out. He found Sam sitting on his bed, his gaze fixed on the floor. He looked up instantly and stood up quickly at the sound of the click of the door as it swung open and banged lightly against the wall.

Dean grinned at his brother, getting one shaky, faltering smile back.

"Morning, Sammy." he said.

"M'rning." He mumbled hesitantly, like he was too afraid to talk to him.

His eyes moved down to his clothes, and he noticed that it's the same one he's been wearing since the day he got into this world. Ince again, bile rose in his throat at the bloody clothes but he swallowed it down. He vaguely wondered why he doesn't change them.

He moved to Sam's duffel bag and zipped it open, finding barely anything in there_—_ no clothes, just_—_weapons, and a lot of other stuff, but no clothes at all.

"Where are all your clothes?" Dean asked gently.

"Y_—_" He paused, "I-I don't have any."

Dean realized why now.

'_You threw them all away_.'

He made a mental note to get him some new clothes, and to have a little talk with _himself_ when he meets the bastard.

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><p><strong>Real Universe<strong>

Sam sat quietly beside his pretty-much-comatose brother. He didn't leave his side since yesterday, when it all started, when he tried everything wake him up and yet, he never did, he didn't even move an inch. He just laid still, the only thing that convinced him that his brother's alive was the rise and fall of his chest, and the pulse beating on his fingers every time he put them on his neck for reassurance, or the air he felt on his hair and the heartbeat when he laid his cheek on his chest.

He didn't know what to do. This helpless feeling killed him. He wanted to help him, but he didn't know what to do at all, he called Castiel but _—_

The fluttering wings broke his thoughts as he snapped his head to the visitor.

Castiel_._

He stood up suddenly, feeling relief wash down on him like waves. Maybe Castiel could help_—_maybe he knows_—_after all, he's an angel, right? There's not a thing they can't do. He's his only hope, and he prayed silently that it won't shatter.

"Castiel." He said smiling in relief, "Cas, you have to help me, please." he begged.

"What did you call me here for?" Castiel asked in his usual toneless voice, flat face.

"What's wrong with Dean?" He asked quietly, sounding so young and vulnerable as he stared at Castiel like he's his only hope, which he is.

Castiel walked over to Dean, standing over him, resting his hand on his forehead and_—s_lowly shook his head. He stood back.

"Cas, please." Sam begged, knowing he sounded pathetic but he just didn't care. He just wanted his brother to be okay.

Castiel shook his head. "Sam, I am telling you. I have absolutely no information on what your brother is going through." Castiel told him calmly.

"Please." He begged again, like he didn't hear the angel at all.

"I am very sorry, Sam." He disappeared with his familiar fluttering of wings sound after staring at him guiltily.

"Please." Sam whispered, the small amount of hope he had, was now completely gone, and he was left, yet again, hopeless. Back to square one.


	6. Chapter 6

_Author's Note:_

Once again, A **HUGE **thanks to AlElizabeth! :)  
>And all you guys for the amazing support and reviews. I love you so much! :)<br>I hope you enjoy this chapter.

OMG! OMG! Sam is gone crazy! looks like we might see some BigBrother!Dean, eh? but we don't really know that 'cause these days, sSupernatural is pretty much lacking of brotherly moments. :(

And yeah, Cas is **BAACK**! he's awesome! :) but honestly, I'm kind of more concerned for Sammy, but that's just my opinion. :)

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><p><span>Chapter 6<span>

**Alternate Universe**

It was somewhere around 2 in the afternoon. Sam sat curled up in the corner of the bathroom. He'd come here a lot these days, to have some time to himself, to think, sometimes to cry here alone, sometimes to remember the old times when things were so simple and easier between him and Dean and everything else.

He wondered if Dean had really changed, but it's not like Dean wouldn't just decide to change out of no reason, but he wanted it so bad. He wanted to believe so bad that he had changed, but what if this is just some sort of cruel trick?

He sighed as he put one of his palms flat on the floor and the other on the wall, and lifted himself up slowly. He clenched his teeth and groaned as some of his injuries stinged at the movement.

He started limping slightly, though he always did his best to hide it from Bobby and Dean, but it's not like Dean would care anyway—But what if he did change? Maybe—just maybe—What if he changed?

He walked out of the bathroom in slow movements, and started walking downstairs to the library, where Bobby and Dean might be.

* * *

><p>Dean tried to think of an excuse to send his brother out, so that he could talk to Bobby, ask him for help. He sighed as he looked around, as if maybe he could find some sort of plan by looking around, and his eyes caught an empty beer bottle.<p>

He grinned.

Just in time, Sam walked in from the doorway. His eyes cast down at the interesting-looking floor. He finally looked up at Bobby, whose nose was buried in another book undoubtedly about the apocalypse. He looked up from the book by the sound of his thudding boots and smiled softly at Sam.

"Hey son." His gruff voice was unusually extra soft according to Dean, unlike the voice Dean usually hears from his Bobby. He vaguely smiled at the thought.

Sam returned him a weak but soft smile.

* * *

><p>Dean waited a while to start his plan. He sighed guiltily—but it was inaudible—as he thought of what he's going to do. He wouldn't think it would work if he actually went all 'Hey Sam, we're out of beer here so could you go and get us some?', because that—just sounded stupid and suspicious, made it sound clear that he needed his brother out, so he decided reluctantly to get into the role of this world's Dean.<p>

He didn't wanna do it, but he knew he had to because he needed to get Sam out of the house so he could talk to Bobby. He sighed as he grabbed a blank paper from somewhere and a pen and wrote down all the things he could think of for Sam to get. He crumpled the paper, biting down his lip guiltily, readying himself for his brother's heartbroken puppy eyes, and cleared his throat harshly.

Sam looked at him and his face met with a paper and he flinched.

"I want you to get these for me." Dean ordered forcefully, something inside him dying at the pained look on his face. He knew Sam was hoping, that Dean had finally changed. He had learned about this universe in the short amount of time he's been here. "And don't even dare come back without any of these."

Sam bit his lip as he picked it up, and opened the paper and read it. He looked up hesitantly at Dean who still had his mask on.

"I could get them." Bobby offered to Dean, but Dean knew there was silent anger burning beneath the old man's eyes.

"No, I want _Sam_ to get them." Dean glared at his brother, ignoring the slight flinch.

Sam nodded, and looked at Bobby, who gave him a comforting smile.

"You can use my car." Dean said flatly, knowing it was the least he could do to make it up to his brother.

He watched as his little brother's shoulders slumped down, dragging his feet lazily across the carpet and walked out.

Dean sighed guiltily, his mask falling off slowly. _I'm sorry Sammy_.

* * *

><p>Sam sighed sadly. He thought he changed finally. God, he was so wrong. He wanted to believe it so —maybe he really did—but then it all just changed. he hated his life, he was pissed at it. These past two months had been the worst times of his life. Every single minute, every second had made him want to die more and more, and the suicidal thoughts that plagued his mind 247 didn't help him either. He only lived for Bobby now, but he knew there was only so much he could take before the limits would be crossed, and he wouldn't be able to take it anymore.

He opened the door of the car and got in, gunning the engine on and drove off.

He didn't notice a drunk driver in a huge truck coming in his way from the passenger side at full speed. The monster truck collided with the car, thankfully from the other side, sending it crashing across the road. His head and ribs hit the steering wheel, not to mention the rest of his injuries' protest at the movement. His vision blurred momentarily before the beautiful darkness claimed him over.

And his last thought was about how Dean's gonna be pissed at him. Because after all, he does love her more than he does Sam now.

"_Maybe thistime—goneforgood—won'thave—to feel De'swrathno more_." He mumbled incoherently, his jumbled mind making it hard for him to think clearly.

* * *

><p>Dean sat quietly on the couch. He had to talk to Bobby before Sam came back home, but he didn't know how. 'Hey Bobby, I wanted to tell you that I'm not from your world, I don't know how I got here so could you help me?' didn't sound right.<p>

"Bobby—I—" Dean got cut off by the sound of his phone ringing and he muttered a few curses. He looked at the screen and saw 'Sam' flashing on his screen. He sighed and answered it.

"Hello, Is this Sam Edward's brother?" An unfamiliar male voice asked.

"Yeah." Dean said, feeling concerned for his brother. Is he kidnapped? Or is he hurt?

"I'm a nurse from the Sioux falls general hospital. Your brother's been in a car accident. So if you can please come—" He didn't get a chance to say any further as he heard the other line cut him off.

"I'm there." He said and hung up quickly.

* * *

><p>Hey guys! Yeah, I know it wasn't that good. I didn't put my heart into it 'cause right now, I'm not feeling so good, so forgive me for the lame chapter. :P<p>

By the way, anyone else watched the 7x17 sneak peek? iIt was amazing! :)


	7. Chapter 7

_Author's Note:_

Hey guys! Thank you all so much for your amazing reviews, and once again, a HUGE thanks to AlElizabeth since it was because of her i'm out of my writer's block.

I really wanna read a story on 7x17 but they're all C/D slash stories. I wanna read a Sam and Dean story but there's hardly any out there, I've red shimmerinstars' 'Lucifer Never Cried' and Sebe's 'How It Goes' which were awesome! :)

I'm so excited for 7x17, I'm dying to watch it, because I have a feeling this episode's gonna be filled with Brotherly Moments! :)

Ok, so I'll shut up now.

* * *

><p><span>Chapter 7<span>

Dean hung up the phone quickly, his eyes darting side-to-side in panic on the floor. He swallowed down the panic and took a deep breath to calm himself down. He glanced at Bobby who was staring at him worriedly before looking back to where he was, washing a hand down his face and running his hand through his hair as another attempt to calm himself down.

"You alright?" Bobby asked concernedly.

He turned his head to Bobby, who was still staring at him in concern and sighed.

"Sam got into a car accident." He told Bobby, trying to hide the panic in his voice as he spoke.

"Damnit." Bobby whispered, taking out his ball cap and running his hands through his own hair. "We need to go now." He made his way out to his truck sitting in the driver's seat while Dean sat in the passenger seat and drove away to the hospital.

As they drove away, Dean thought about the way he treated Sam last time he saw him. He knew it was for a reason, and he was reluctant about it but still couldn't stop the feeling of guilt taking over him.

They reached there and made their way to the entrance, running hurriedly to the reception desk.

Bobby tried to remember the name on Sam's fake insurance card.

"His name is Sam Edward." Bobby told the receptionist and faked a polite smile at her.

She told them to wait out in the waiting room

A few hours later had Dean was pacing around the hallway, which earned him some annoyed stares from the other people in the room, but he didn't care. He was out of his freakin' mind sitting here, worrying about Sam, while Bobby was sitting quietly on the chair.

"Dean, stop pacing and get your butt on the chair right now." Bobby said gruffly and Dean could not believe how much he sounded like his own Bobby.

He moved to sit down on the hard uncomfortable chair like the usual chairs in the hospital, but he was still not calm.

"I'm sorry Bobby." He sighed.

"It's alright." Bobby squeezed his shoulder.

Bobby smiled slightly, hoping this would change Dean completely, not that he was happy or glad that any of this happened, but he liked the fact that Dean was starting to care about his brother because of it.

A male doctor came out quietly. He had slightly light brown hair, his face slightly long, his height probably a few inches shorter than Dean. He had brown eyes, and glasses on the bridge of his nose, a look of pity on his face which worried Dean.

"Sam Edward's family?" The doctor called out.

Dean and Bobby stood up and walked over to him.

"How's my brother?" He asked, swallowing nervously.

"Hello, nice to meet you. I am Dr. Ronald. I am your brother's doctor/ Your brother wasn't very damaged from the accident gratefully, just a couple of injuries. He had a head injury and a few broken ribs, and a broken leg but nothing serious." Mr. Ronald sighed and faked a smiled but it faded away in a fraction of a second as he continued. "I think we need to talk privately." He bit his lip and motioned them to follow him into his office.

They both sat down on the chair and exchanged looks.

The doctor continued, "What is worrying me...are the bruises that are all around his body, his abdomen, his chest, his back, side, everywhere. His face is terribly bruised as if he's been hit a lot, but his body is worse. Some bruises that show that he's been kicked repeatedly, some bruises that look like he's been struck by a belt, and the burn marks around his wrists that indicates that he's been handcuffed a lot." He sighed deeply. "Dean, is your brother being abused at home?"

Dean was speechless. This was what this guy used to do to Sam? He had absolutely no idea what to say, yes? Because it wasn't even him, no? That for some reason makes him feel like a liar even though he wasn't. He knew the truth, but Bobby didn't, and he didn't want him to think he was some sort of liar. And Bobby fidgeted nervously, having no idea what to do. Would Sam be fine with Dean getting arrested for abusing his sibling? He knew that, despite everything, Sam still loved his brother no matter what. And he'd take anything over being separated from him, and making his brother suffer.

Suddenly, a nurse knocked in his door. Thank God for small favors. When they turned to her, she smiled politely. "Sir, Sam Edward has finally woken up."

Dr. Ronald smiled. "Thanks for informing me." He looked at the two family members of his patient in front of him, and there's a hint of wary in his eyes, "Looks like we're going to find out." He faked another forced smile at them.

He got up and walked out of the office, lost in his thoughts as he walked to Sam's room with the two people silently following him. Perhaps all this concern of theirs was just an act? It seems more likely to be the brother it could be an act, a lie.. But they're going to find out soon.

He pushed the door of the room open gently and walked in, there they saw Sam half sitting with the upper part of the bed lifted a little high. Bobby smiled and walked inside while Dean stopped dead in tracks. Maybe it would make Sam nervous if he went in, especially with that last time where he had reluctantly, but stupidly gotten into the act of being abusive, so instead he stood quietly in the doorway.

"Hey Bobby." Sam whispered and smiled. Bobby sat beside him.

"Hey son." Bobby smiled.

"Hello Sam, how are you feeling?" Dr. Ronald asked. At least, he had one thing clear. It certainly wasn't his uncle since the young man seemed pretty easy around him.

"Good, I guess." He smiled, but his smile dropped down when his eyes drifted to Dean, and he felt his eyes widen in terror, barely able to contain the flinch. He swallowed down the terror and his eyes skittered away nervously.

The doctor seemed to notice that. "Are you alright, Sam?" The doctor asked gently.

Sam stared straight ahead and nodded, refusing to raise his eyes.

Bobby rested a hand on his shoulder, trying to give as much comfort as he can to Sam, and then he got up and walked over to Dean.

The doctor took a deep breath and leaned into Sam's ear. "Sam, I noticed those bruises on your body; and it seems to me like you're being abused." Sam's head snapped up at him. He hesitantly looked at Dean and Bobby, who seemed to be talking and didn't seem to be paying any attention to them, until Dean walked away. He looked back at the doctor.

"And by the look of those fear in your eyes, I think your brother has something to do with this."


	8. Chapter 8

A/N

Hey Guys! :) Thank you so much for reviewing and having my stories on fav/alert. I have like over 90 people reading this story. I'm not sure if it's a lot in here but to me, it's enough.  
>Love you alll!<p>

And maybe the whole argument with the doctor and Sam was pretty lame and I'm not good at making those kind of arguments so yeah. :P and I'm having exams next week so I might not update a lot. :P

I've always been straight As but this time I have a feeling I'm gonna get a lot of Bs.. LMFAO!

And I want to request you guys to read my newest one shot, Never let it go. Fail summary but I hope the fic is good. :) You don't have to, though if you don't have the time.

And 'He's In My Seat', you definitely don't need to read that, haha, fail, no favs, 1 review, which I wanna thank LeighAnnWallace for. :)

* * *

><p><span>Chapter 8<span>

Dean stood at the doorway quietly. He breathed out a sigh of guilt, closing his eyes as he leaned against the wall just outside of Sam's room. He knew that if only he didn't send Sam out, none of this would've happened. Sam wouldn't have gotten hurt, and they wouldn't have gotten into this mess. The doctor wouldn't have been giving the suspicious eyes to them about the bruises. If he gets arrested, he'll never be able to go back to his own Sam.

He missed Sam, his own Sam, and he wanted so bad to make things right with him after living in this world for a period of time. And honestly, he can't stay here any longer because it breaks his heart that he's so scared, and the worst part? Was that he was scared of him, and he just can't help but wonder if that's exactly how his own Sam felt.

He really hoped not though.

He sighed heavily as he heard boots thudding on the ground, coming nearer and nearer to him and immediately recognized this as Bobby's footsteps. He felt the weight of a hand on his shoulder but he didn't turn around, he just stood silently, his arms crossed against his chest and his back to him.

"Something botherin' ya, son?" Bobby asked softly.

Dean didn't move at first but then shook his head slightly.

"No." He whispered and sighed as he turned to Bobby, "I'm gonna go get something from the vending machine." He excused, forced a small smile and walked off.

* * *

><p>He knew that all this pain was unbearable, the verbal and the physical, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. Dean was his brother and...and he still loved him, because maybe all of this was nothing to him if he counted the things he did for him. He gave his childhood away to raise him. He used to protect him, care for him, love him, but maybe not anymore.<p>

He went to hell for him even though he regrets it now.

But he still did more than enough for him.

"Is your brother acting abusive towards you, Sam?" The doctor asked gently.

Silence.

"No." Sam finally answered. He turned his head to him and tried to keep his face as stoic as possible, "He isn't."

"Sam, we can help you." The doctor said.

"I told you, he isn't!" He snapped angrily.

"Sam, you can't lie about something like this. You do know that your life is in danger."

"My brother didn't do this." Sam stubbornly told him.

"Then who did? And how would you explain the bruises on your body and the burn marks around your wrist?"

"I was kidnapped and tortured."

"Sam-"

"Get out and leave me alone!" He yelled, panting heavily. "My brother would never do such a thing!"

Dr. Ronald stayed silent, letting his young patient continue.

"How could he?" He whispered softly. "If he was the one who looked after me, loved me more anyone? More than my own dad." He swallowed, letting the tears seep into his huge, doey eyes, knowing it was a lie, because his brother didn't love him anymore. "He's - He's the best brother anyone could ever ask for..."

"So don't you dare - blame him like that."

Sam didn't really want to yell at the doctor who just saved his life, but he knew it was for the best.

It was for his brother.

It was surprising though, that the doctor didn't put up much of a fight, as he sighed, nodding in understanding. "I'm very sorry I've doubted your brother like that, Sam." He sighed again, clamped a comforting hand on the young man's shoulder, and walked out of the door.

He quickly wiped his eyes free from the tears and sighed, reaching for a glass of water, but of course, his bandaged hands were making it difficult to hold it without trembling. He held the glass with the heel of his trembling hands and brought it to his lips.

And he suddenly saw two more hands wrap around the glass as an attempt to help him.

Maybe, a very small part of him hoped, and wanted it to be Dean, but the rest knew it was Bobby. So when he looked up, he wasn't at all surprised to find it was actually Bobby.

He gave him a small smile and drank it.

"Ya alright?" Bobby asked softly. "I heard ya yelling at someone to get out." He knew what it was about, and he wanted to talk to the kid about it, but he knew that when it unburden's someone, sometimes it also hurts to talk about it. So he didn't push the topic further.

"Yeah I'm fine."

"Alright...idjit." He smiled and nudged his shoulder affectionately which earned him another small smile.

* * *

><p>It was another morning. They planned on getting Sam out of here today, bright and early morning and he was grateful for that.<p>

They helped him in his clothes, all the while trying his hardest not to flinch when Dean brought his hands close to him, and helped him out of the the hospital and move to Bobby's truck. The Impala was badly damaged so it was shifted to Bobby's salvage.

They arrived at Bobby's house finally.

Bobby turns the engine off and jumps out of the truck, walking off to open the door of his house for Sam and then to come and help him in.

Dean jumped out of the truck and saw his brother through the window fumbling with the door handle frustratingly with his still bandaged hands.

He moved slowly to the door and pulled the door open for him.

"You tryin' to fight a door handle?" He joked lightly, ignoring the ache in his heart when he saw his little brother swallow fearfully. He ignored the fear he could feel radiating off his brother in waves and grabbed his arms, pulling him out since his leg was in a cast. He put Sam's arm around his shoulders and wrapped his own arm around his waist to help him out of the truck.

Sam concentrated on walking (and not flinching), moving his uninjured foot forward slowly as Dean kept whispering soft nothings in his ear.

Bobby walked back to bring Sam in only to find Dean helping him, whispering him soothing and supporting words.

"I gotcha, Sammy." Dean whispered to his limply walking brother.

* * *

><p>Sam was laid down on the bed of the spare room upstairs, his casted leg resting on a pillow.<p>

He pushed on his elbows to sit up and reached for the glass filled with water on the nightstand, but it was completely out of his reach this time. Once again, he felt a feeling of frustration take over him as he desperately tried to reach the glass that stood innocently away from him, out of his reach.

He sighed in frustration as he took his arm back, ducking his head down in defeat and letting his shoulders slump down.

And suddenly, the glass appeared in front of him, within his reach. He didn't have to wonder who it was, because he knew it was Bobby.

But when he looked up - it wasn't him.

Instead...

It was Dean.


	9. Chapter 9

A/N

Awww! 97 reviews, God! over 100 readers? Thank you so much guys! This story has become my best one yet. :)

Keep reviewing! It keeps me going. :)

And exams started, so it's possible I might not have enough time but I'll try to do the best I can.

Love you all!

* * *

><p><span>Chapter 9<span>

**Real Universe**

A long painful week has passed on, dark circles decorated his eyes from the lack of sleep for never leaving his brother's bedside. He felt helpless at seeing his brother, still and unmoving except the rise and fall of his chest. His meeting with Castiel was no help, and he couldn't do anything either, the worthless little brother he is.

His denial of his brother never waking up and his hope that he will was fading slowly. He wasn't so sure anymore if he would wake up, but he's alive and that's one of the things that matter.

It was 3 AM in the morning and he was exhausted, but he couldn't bring himself to fall asleep, his desperate eyes kept searching for a small movement of his brother, _anything_.

He heard the creaking of the door open, and he turned his head to find Bobby who stared at him concerningly.

"I'm fine, Bobby." It came out as a whisper and he tried to smile reassuringly at him.

"Sam, you've barely slept or ate these days, ya have to help yourself, or ya won't be any good to your brother like that." Bobby said softly.

Sam sighed and nodded, resting his head on the bed beside his brother's side.

Bobby sighed and shook his head, "Idjit." He walked off to his own room, knowing that's still something.

* * *

><p>He shifted restlessly. His thoughts kept him from falling into a slumber, questions running through his head constantly such as, what if Dean never woke up? How would he live the rest of his life without him? He has Bobby but it would still be different without Dean.<p>

He sat up in his chair.

Whatever's going on right now, whatever's happening to his big brother, he hopes it's all temporary like a witch's curse.

"Dean, come on...wake up.." He whispered pleadingly, and sighed, "I know I'm not worth it.. I've done some serious shit to you, I've betrayed you.. But.. Please, you have to fight.. for _me_." He bit his lip as tears formed in his eyes.

"You remember what I said that day in the siren's spell? You know, I was so wrong.. because you? You're the strongest person I've ever known...you've gone through so much, Dean...And yet you've never given up. If anyone's the weak one here, it's me...I mean.. I don't think I would've lived with the memories of 40 years in hell.. But you.. You some how manage to take care of everything, everyone...even when you had your own problems to deal with."

"So I'm asking you...just once more...don't you dare give up this time.." The tears that stayed in his eyes finally streamed down. "Not on me.. Please." He whispered pleadingly.

* * *

><p>6 AM in the morning. Bobby walked inside the room and wasn't at all surprised to see Sam awake beside his brother. Sam looked over at him and he noticed the dark circles have darkened slightly.<p>

"Hey Sam, did ya get some sleep?" He asked.

"Uh...yeah." He lied, but Bobby knew better.

"Don't lie, Sam." He pressed earnestly.

Sam sighed. "I'm fine, Bobby."

"Bull." He sighed. "Look, Sam.. all I'm asking you...is to get a few hours of sleep, in a comfy bed.. and some food in ya, nothing else." He walked over and grabbed Sam's arm and pulled him up.

"But - " He tried.

"No, Sam...you won't do any good to your brother if you try ta' kill yourself like that." He cut him off when he opened his mouth to protest. "I'll look after him, okay? You just get some food in ya and a few hours of sleep and I promise I won't bother ya for at least a week...you look beat."

Sam really did feel exhausted actually, maybe a few hours of sleep shouldn't hurt, right?

He sighed and nodded in defeat, allowing Bobby to lead him to his own bed.

Bobby walked out and came back a few minutes later with some food and put it in front of him.

"Now eat." He forced.

Sam stared at his food for a while before moving his hand towards the spoon, and taking a mouthful of it.

When he was done, he laid down on the bed and curled up on his side, out like a light.

* * *

><p>Hey Guys! This one is short but I think it was good enough! and exams started this monday and I plan on making it up by posting another chapter of 'Mentally Broken'.<p>

I think my best yet is this story and 'MB' and if you haven't red that, please do if you have time. :)

Did anyone else like that speech? It actually just wrote itself and I'm actually proud of it. :D

THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING! :)


	10. Chapter 10

A/N

OMG! OVER 100 REVIEWS IN 9 CHAPTERS? I don't know, it's unusual for me and you have no idea how thankful I am! LOVE YOU!

* * *

><p><span>Chapter 10<span>

**Alternate Universe**

Dean busted through the door angrily. They had just come back from a hunt. They didn't even stop to rest at a motel after they killed the shapeshifter since it was only about two towns away. They immediately drove back to Bobby's house.

He turned around abruptly in anger to face Sam, who stood staring down at his shoes like a shameful toddler.

_The shapeshifter had taken the form of his brother, but it revealed itself easily as it had his brother by the neck, strangling him with his arm and shielding himself with his body, smirking._

_"You wanna shoot me, Sammy? You're gonna have to shoot big brother first, then." His smirk turned fully into an evil smile._

_Sam stood, pointing his gun at the shapeshifter, shifting his foot. He knew he couldn't shoot his own brother. He didn't have it in him to._

_"Sam!" He yelled in a strangled voice, "Sh-shoot him!" He had it all planned out, just as long as his brother shot the damn thing._

_He stared, swallowing down the lump as he put his hand down._

_"Ahh, that's my boy." The smile still on his face._

_Not that he'd ever tell him that, but even if it's the shapeshifter, he missed how Dean said that._

_Dean made his move as he kicked the monster in the leg and freed himself from it's grasp, throwing a super hard punch to it's jaw._

"When I told you to shoot the damn thing, you were supposed to shoot Goddamnit!" He yelled.

"I-I'm sorry, I would've had to shoot you." He whispered softly.

"I had it all planned out!" He yelled angrily.

"I didn't think -" He started but got cut off.

"Yeah, you didn't think! Exactly the way you had blindly believed a demon over me!" He snapped, but regretted it immediately as he saw the look pass his brother's face, but he didn't show it. The pain was still buried deep inside somewhere.

"I-I.." He whispered and bit his lip, "I.. I'm sorry." He had his kicked-puppy-look on again.

Dean just walked past him, knowing he had to move away before he opened up all the pain and said worse things to him.

_Why can't I ever stop making him mad? _He thought brokenly. He stared down at the floor again, walking upstairs, wanting to sleep the pain away. Even though there's one thing missing everyday these days before he falls asleep with an ache in his heart, Dean's soothing promise.

_"It'll all be better when you wake up, Sammy."_

Sam sat on the edge of his bed and laughed humorlessly as he moved a hand to his cheek, and he wasn't surprised to have it back wet.

_"What a baby.." Dean said mockingly._

He bit his lip as his brother's bitter voice echoed in his head.

* * *

><p>Dean sat on the kitchen chair, drinking beer. He stared down at the table, fuming in anger at himself. He just scared the kid even more.<p>

_Shit!_ He thought furiously as he slammed a fist down on the table. It was only _'a-hunt-gone-wrong' problem._ Yeah, they barely had them but still. He didn't know what happened, maybe that pain that he kept buried deep inside the back of his head forgotten, somehow needed to come out in the open? Or maybe, he also forgot that this wasn't his Sam, one who would probably be yelling back in his face or something, or just pretend nothing hurt and not make him feel like the bad guy. _You just had to snap at the kid like that,_ he thought to himself angrily.

He snapped out of his rageful thoughts at the sound of footsteps, desperately hoping it wasn't Sam. He knew he couldn't deal with him right now, especially not with his teary-eyed kicked puppy expression that this Sam actually overuses.

Bobby appeared at the doorway and walked in. He breathed a barely audible sigh of relief.

"Hey, you guys back?" He smiled.

"Yeah." He said as he twisted the beer bottle in his hands, but suddenly stopped as he noticed, this is the best time to talk to Bobby. He turned his eyes to look at the doorway to see if Sam was there, maybe.

He took a swig of his beer, and stayed silent. He cleared his throat before he started talking. "Hey Bobby.." He said hesitantly.

"Yeah?" He turned away from the fridge after taking a beer out and closing the door, facing Dean and leaning back on the edge of the kitchen drawers.

"Look.. I know you'll probably get kind of confused, maybe call me stupid but.. I'm.. I don't know how I got here. This...this isn't my world.." He waited for some sort of reaction, an '_are-you-crazy_?' look. But instead got nothing in return, just a stare that isn't of shock. It was unreadable.

"I believe ya.." He said softly.

"Look, - .. What?" He asked, bewildered. He actually believes him? No way.. maybe he missed out the 'don't' from what he just said, yeah.

"I said.. I believe ya." He repeated to the surprised and bewildered man in front of him.

* * *

><p>Ooooo! LMFAO! I had to leave it there, it was the best time for a cliff hanger, now before you start throwing tomatoes and onions at me..<p>

..I've got nothing, you may proceed.


	11. Chapter 11

A/N

.Hi guys! Thank you all so much for your support, I hope you enjoy this chapter.

Read with dramatic pauses and a slow sad song? I dunno, and anyone noticed how I kept using 'he' instead of Dean for the abusive one? DAMN! It was real hard writing something like that.

And to those huge Dean fans out there (Includes me) take no offense, it's for entertainment purposes and I in no way blame Dean for anything, i'm on both sides! :) and he's AU NOT REAL! :D I'll never have the real Dean do crap like that.

And I'm really sorry if this chapter was a disappointment, I feel nervous like hell.. :P I'm writing this in my mobile, my mind's blank of ideas and I'm freakin' tired and when I'm tired, I'm not fully lucid, I wake up the next morning and I'm like "WHY THE HELL DID I DO THAT?'

* * *

><p>"Why do you believe me?" Dean asked in a furrowed expression of confusion and bewilderment.<p>

"Well, you've been acting different... Really different." He shrugged lightly, then looked down at his shoes and sighed, before looking back up, "He won't change.. not out of no reason," Bobby said softly and sadly, "I know that for sure."

Dean listened quietly to the heartbroken old man in front him.

"That idjit. He barely smiles these days. It's like he's actually forgotten how to, ya know, those small weak smiles of his... They don't count at all. They're fake, and I see right through them." He pauses for a small minute before he continued, "He's been through a lot in these two months, ya know." He finally looked up at Dean.

"Yeah. I know." He whispered, staring down on the empty space on the table.

He chuckled humorlessly, "You don't know everything."

Dean looked up from where he was staring at, "What do you mean?" He asked.

"He blames himself for everything. Your mom's death, your dad's death, his girlfriend, he regrets the deal too, that's what gets to him the most. It's not the hits or the kicks or even the strikes. It's the words. for all I know, he's not even Sam anymore. He's someone else."

He stared back down at the table, taking a swig of his beer before he asked hesitantly, "Why... Why does he?" He stopped but Bobby understood.

Bobby sighed and bit his lip, "I don't know. Maybe because he started the end of the world? Maybe because he betrayed him?"

Dean nodded and bit his lip.

The silence was broken by Bobby's sigh, "That kid's afraid of making the simplest mistakes these days, and when he does, all he can think of is what's ahead of him." He said softly.

Dean fought to keep his tears under control as he asked, "Why doesn't he fight back?"

"Because," He sighed, "Because he thinks he deserves it. Every last bit of it."

Maybe, this was a lesson after all, perhaps about how Sam feels? He knows the kid, self-sacrificing, the broody emo kid that he was. Guilt could make you give away so much.

"Dean?" Bobby called out again.

Dean wiped his teary eyes and looked at Bobby.

"You alright?" Bobby asked worriedly, although he knew the answer, stupid question.

"Yeah- yeah." He tried to smile reassuringly.

"I think you should go get some sleep, it's 11. I'll try to find something to help you get back to your own world tomorrow." He smiled.

Dean nodded, "Goodnight, Bobby." He mumbled and walked off to his own room upstairs.

"Goodnight, kid." He whispered to no one

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><p>Dean opened the door to the room and slowly walked in, sitting on the edge of his own bed as he fell into deep thoughts of everything, everything he just heard, everything that's happening around him.<p>

He had to get back to his own world, after everything he went through, he more than needed to get back there and make things right.

He thought about how he yelled at Sam after the hunt, and after everything, felt guilt take over him.

He heard a soft whimper coming from the other bed and looked up at the curled up figure who somehow kicked off the covers in his sleep. He heard another whimper followed by an apology.

"I'm sorry." and Dean knew what the nightmare was probably about.

Another soft whimper followed with an apology, he got up and sat on the edge of his brother's bed and stroked his hair, moving them behind his ears and whispered, "Shh... It's alright, he won't hurt you, I've got you."

After a few murmurs of Dean's soothing words, Sam calmed down.

"It'll all be better when you wake up tomorrow, I promise."

Silence.

"I'll never treat you the way he did." He whispered.

And he wasn't sure which Sam he was talking to.


	12. Chapter 12

A/N

.Hey guys! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! Love you all.

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><p><span>Chapter 12<span>

Dean woke up to the alarm clock ringing at 6 AM. He looked over to the other bed and was slightly surprised to find the other bed occupied by Sam's curled up figure under the covers. He closed the alarm as he saw Sam stir a little. Knowing that Sam must be pretty tired from the hunt, He let him sleep a little while longer.

He swung his legs over the edge of his bed, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his hands. He walked over to his duffel bag and dug in for some clean clothes. Finding some jeans, a t-shirt and an overshirt, he walked in to the bathroom.

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><p>Bobby was up and awake already in the library, looking through the books. He looked over as he heard footsteps.<p>

"Hey Bobby, found anything yet?" Dean asked wearily.

"Nothing yet, still looking." Bobby replied.

"Alright then." Dean shrugged and sat on the couch. He stared at Bobby for a while before taking a deep but barely audible breath. "Do you think we should tell Sam?"

Bobby looked at Dean and stared for a while, seeming like he was thinking. "No."

Dean furrowed his eyebrows. "Why?"

"Dunno, I just.. I think Sam would rather have you as his own Dean than someone else's.. Even if it's just for a while."

Dean knew what he meant and nodded slowly. "Okay."

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><p>Sam jerked up as he looked at the clock, which read 6:28 AM. He walked over to his duffel bag and took out some new clean clothes that Dean bought for him a few days ago. He brushed his teeth and took a short shower and then walked downstairs and inside to Bobby's library. Where Dean and Bobby were.<p>

"Hey Bobby." He smiled weakly.

Bobby jumped a little and closed the book, he looked over to Sam. "Hey kid."

"What are you doing?" He said as he walked over.

"Nothing." Bobby answered. "Just researching.. For the apocalypse."

Dean pulled his typical amused 'Dean smile' as he watched Bobby.

"Need any help?" Sam asked.

"No, I'm good." He looked at Dean. His expression telling him to 'help me out here.'

He cleared his throat. "Uh.. Hey Sam, I need you to go look for a hunt, I'm itchin' to kick some monster ass."" He grinned and looked at Bobby. "And I think meanwhile.. I'm gonna go work on my baby." He got up and started walking towards the door.

"Dean.. I-isn't it-" He stopped himself as he looked at Dean's face. For once in a long time, he noticed that there was no anger or hatred as he looked at him. And he knew it was too early for another hunt but he knew he didn't wanna risk this. He swallowed and instead, said, "Nothing."

* * *

><p>Sam re-red the research papers all the while walking to the garage to find Dean. It seemed to be a werewolf what with all those claw marks around the victims' bodies and their missing hearts.<p>

Too busy reading the papers, he didn't notice the car part lying in his way and before he knew it, he tripped over it and all the research papers went flying around the garage.

Dean slid out from under the car to see what's going on.

Sam collected all the papers scattered on the ground desperately. Whispering repeatedly as he did. "No, no, no."

And the last thing he wanted to do was make Dean mad.

He looked up at Dean with terror-filled eyes as his brother started walking slowly towards him. Opening his mouth and then closing it back as he realized he didn't know what to say. 'I'm sorry?', 'I didn't mean to?'. 'It was an accident?'. Because it never really worked before, why should it now?

So instead, he just fixed his gaze down at his hands on his laps, allowing his bangs to cover his eyes, his breathing shaking. He mentally braced himself for the blow, and kept telling himself that it would only be for a while before it'll be over.

_"That kid's afraid of making the simplest mistakes these days, and when he does, all he could think about is what's ahead of him."_

Bobby's words filled his head as he saw pure terror in his brother's eyes and watched as his expression turned to defeat and stared down at his hands.

Dean slowly bent in front of his little brother, staring into his kid brother's hazel brown eyes through his bangs. He changed his gaze to over his shoulder and reached out for a paper lying on the floor and held in front of Sam.

Sam looked slightly confused and took it slowly and looked up at Dean, searching for any kind of anger or hatred as he stared into his green eyes.

But he didn't find any.

"How about keeping your eyes open when you're walking and keeping control of those ostrich legs of yours, moron." He joked teasingly and smiled, ruffling his hair affectionately.

That's all he saw in those eyes, love, affection. Dean. The old Dean.

"I found a hunt." He mumbled nervously. He wished he could talk freely like he used to with Dean. But he's grown to fear talking in front of him.

"Well, what you got?" He said as he lowered himself down sat in front of him.

"It.. It seems like a werewolf." He handed the research papers to Dean. "The claw marks look like it, and the victims' hearts are missing. So it seems like a werewolf." He explained.

He red the papers. "Good job, Sammy." He patted his cheek and got up. "We're heading tomorrow."

Sam smiled weakly. He hadn't said that in a long time, which he missed a lot. He missed a lot of little things about his brother, actually. Like the way he used to call him those lame names, or when he praised him on his work and teased him on stupid things like the kind of food he eats or his hair. Or his geekiness.

Dean caught his smile and decided to make something more out of it.

"Anytime now, Sammy." He smirked.

"W-What?" He asked, confused.

"You just gonna sit there forever and try to look pretty?" He joked. And he smiled to himself proudly as he heard Sam let out a soft, but real, chuckle.

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><p>Well, I'm not so funny but I needed something to make that part. :) I hope you enjoyed it. And I wrote this in my mobile so all mistakes are mine. :D<p> 


	13. Chapter 13

A/N.

Hey guys! so this story, I plan on it being only two more chapters but don't worry, maybe in the future, I'll probably do another story with this same summary. I don't know, I just love it for some reason. :P

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><p><span>Chapter 13<span>

Sam sat on one of the uneasy chairs in the waiting room of a hospital. Waiting anxiously on the news about Dean. He didn't understand how it happened. One minute, he and Dean were side by side looking for the creature in the woods, as that's where it was located, then the next thing he knew, he was pushed out of the way. And when he looked over, the beast was on Dean, and it clawed at his brother's side so deep.

_Dean pushed his brother away on instinct as something jumped out of the bushes in an instant. It jumped on top of him which knocked his gun away from his grasp. And the next thing he felt was a sharp pain on his side._

_Sam slowly got up, his palms flat on the floor, he pushed himself up. A yell caused him to flinch and he snapped his neck to Dean._

_"SAM! SHOOT THE DAMN THING!" Dean yelled. It wasn't really out of anger though Sam mistook it._

_He panicked as he looked around him, when Dean pushed him, he also lost his grip on his gun. His eyes landed on a silver glint._

_"SAM!" Dean yelled in a pained voice as another pain jolted at his side._

_Sam crawled his way to the gun and took hold of it. His hands trembled as Dean yelled again._

This was all your damn fault. No one can even raise their voice on you or else you'll just start chickening out. He thought accusingly to himself.

He hated that. He hated himself for being so weak and sensitive. He hates how he flinches and panics when someone yells at him these days. Now he's sure that Dean's going to hate him, they were finally getting along but then he just had to screw it up. Like always.

He screwed up his chance at being normal. Saving Dean from the deal and from going to hell, being a good son to his dad and then being a good brother. And then trying to stop the apocalypse. That's the story of his pathetic life. He always has to screw everything up. And now this.

Why can't he ever do anything right? If he didn't go all panicky, his brother wouldn't even be here right now. He's not even sure if Dean would want to see him. It was his fault anyway.

He blinked back his tears at the thought. He kept wondering if Dean would be okay. Would he have any serious injury? because the scratch seemed pretty deep. Would he want to see Sam? What would he do?

The doctor came out just then. "Dean Collins?"

Sam stood up and rushed to the doctor. "Is he fine?"

"Well, yes. He had a small tear in his liver but it's been taken care of, thankfully. You may go see him if you want to." The doctor smiled.

Sam nodded eagerly. A nurse led him to the outside of his brother's room.

He gently pushed the door open and walked in slowly. But stood a huge distance away from Dean's bed.

Dean turned his head to Sam. "Sam?"

"Yeah, Dean." He whispered.

Silence filled the room before Sam spoke again. "Dean, I'm so sorry." He swallowed. "This is all my fault." He said quietly. He looked down, not wanting to see the anger and disappointment in his eyes again.

"This isn't your fault, Sam." He replied simply.

He looked up. That wasn't what he expected for him to say. "But - "

"This isn't your fault, okay?" He snapped sharply which caused Sam to flinch.

He sighed heavily. Knowing that this is going to go against his 'no chick flick moment' rule again. This is gonna be a mother of all chick flick moment that he explicitly avoids. But he barely followed that rule when it came to Sam. He mentally snorted at the thought.

He scooted away further at one side and stretched his arm out. "Come ere'." He said softly.

Sam played with his fingers, hesitating for a moment. But then he noticed the gentleness in his soft voice. And within seconds, He crawled in the bed and laid on his side next to his big brother, careful not to move the wires. Cheek resting on his shoulder. The back of his neck resting on the crook of his brother's elbow and Dean's arm going around his shoulder.

"I'm sorry, Dean." He whispered.

"It's not your fault, alright? I chose to do that." He pulled him closer.

"But you shouldn't have done that." He whispered shakily as his eyes welled up.

"I didn't take care of you for twenty-two years for nothing. I'd do it again in a heartbeat." He said softly and felt his t-shirt soak with his brother's tears. He brought his other arm around his back and hugged him closer.

* * *

><p>The next morning, Bobby ran to the reception asking for Dean Collins after he got a call frm the hospital about Dean's accident. She told him the number to his room and a nurse led him to it. He rushed inside the room but froze at what he saw.<p>

He saw two little boys instead of adults, right after a nightmare. Dean had his arm around Sam's shoulder and back while Sam snuggled against his chest. There were very light dried streaks of tears down the youngest one's cheeks.

He slowly took out his phone and took a picture of them. A huge smile on his face.

He put his phone back in and walked over to their bed. He took the folded blanket at the foot of their bed and slowly unfolded it, and threw it over them.

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><p>I don't really know about you guys but I'm hell nervous hoping you guys would enjoy it. I think I'm proud of it though.<p> 


	14. Chapter 14

A/N.

Hey guys! Second last chapter. I'm sorry about that. D: But don't worry. I might in the future write another story like this. Because I love this summary. You should check out purplehairedwonder's one shot. (I got inspired from her.) WAY BETTER THAN MINE! :P

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><p>Four days later. Bobby was out hunting, Sam was at the house reading more books for the apocalypse. while Dean went out to get groceries as they were running low on a lot of items. It was a few hours later. He got back from the grocery store and put all the brown paperbags on the kitchen table. He sighed. Thinking about checking on Sam later as he plopped down on a chair. Closing his eyes.<p>

Suddenly. There was a faint whimper coming from upstairs. His eyes widen. Panic surged through his veins as he ran upstairs.

He was shocked to see a figure, his leather jacket just like Dean's. His chopped dirty blonde hair. He looked exactly like him except the dangerous look in his eyes. There was also hatred and rage, all directed at his little brother. He cuffed Sam's hand to the bed, grabbing his collar roughly and saying something to him before roughly letting him go.

He caught a glimpse of Sam's face. It was completely wet from tears, his back was facing the room but he knew his brother was crying. It clenched at his heart as he watched his shoulders shake with fear and sobbing.

"Suck it up and stop crying like a freakin' baby." Dean said in a low but dangerous voice as he grabbed hold of his collar. He roughly let it go.

Sam's face was wet from crying. Tears streaming down his face. His face collected some more bruises as did his body. His lip was split open and bleeding. He curled in a fetal position on his side immediately and covered his head and ears. His left hand was cuffed to the right side. And kept whispering apologies absent-mindedly. His body was aching so badly. He didn't know how. He didn't know why. He didn't mean to make Dean mad.

Why does he screw everything up? They were getting along, everything was finally changing back to the way it was. What did he do to make him so mad?

(The real world) Dean walked in and was about to run to Sam until the other Dean jumped to his duffel bag and pulled out a silver knife.

"Who the hell are you?" Dean yelled at what he thinks is a shapeshifter. Pointing a knife at him.

Dean put his hands up.

He slammed him against the wall, holding the silver knife at his throat. "How the hell did you get in here?"

"I'm not a shapeshifter, alright?" Dean said irritatedly. "I'm from a different world."

"Yeah, sure." He said skeptically and rolled his eyes.

He made a move as he pushed him and snatched the knife from him which caused him to back away. "I'm not gonna use it on you." He held the knife to his forearm. Slicing it, he gritted his teeth and the blood poured out of the wound. He pulled down his sleeve and held the knife in front of him

The knife was snatched from him. He tucked it behind his jeans and grabbed his arm, pulling him with him as he walked downstairs.

"Get the hell away from me!" Dean yelled as he pushed the man. Who only had his looks and interests but not his attitude. "Asshole." He muttered under his breath.

"Why the hell are you here?" He asked.

"And you think I'm supposed to know?" Dean asked. Still irritated.

"Whatever."

Dean furrowed his eyebrows as he watched him walk downstairs to the kitchen to probably grab a beer. He followed him. "How could you do that to him?" He asked.

"Do what?" He asked, raising his eyebrows which made Dean made him punch his face in even more.

"To Sam."

He seemed to understand the question. "What do you think? That worthless piece of shit deserves it."

"And why the hell does he deserve it?" He said angrily.

"He betrayed me. Started the freakin' apocalypse!" He argued angrily.

"So what?" Dean asked.

He raised his eyebrows. "If you didn't know then I'll freakin' repeat it for you. Over billions of people are gonna lose their lives. Why? Because of my own blood sucking freak brother."

"He's your brother. He's family."

"So what? He deserves it!"

"No he doesn't." He felt anger surge through him. "Is this what you use him for? A punchingbag that you can take out all your anger on?" He felt tears welling up in his eyes a little. "You don't do this to family. He's all you've got!"

He didn't say anything. He didn't know what to say.

"You're all he's got.. and he's all you've got. But you're gonna lose him too.. what you do to him." He bit his lip. "It's gonna kill him some day.." He shrugged. "Believe it or not. He doesn't deserve this. But you made him believe it."

His hardened features were slowly softening in sadness as he heard the words.

"What happened to that promise?" Dean asked sadly. As tears welled up in his eyes. He knew somewhere along the way. Between coming back from hell to his brother starting the apocalypse. He forgot his promise too.

He looked up, furrowing his eyebrows.. "Wh.." He was about to ask as he didn't understand his question. When suddenly it all hit him.

_"As long as I'm around.. nothing bad is gonna happen to you."_

His own words echoed in his mind.

How did it get to this? Where did it all go so wrong?

How could he forget his promise? To dad. To himself.. To Sammy.

A shattering glass rang out from upstairs.

* * *

><p>Sam felt exhausted. From crying. From this life. From his guilt. From the abuse and everything else. He felt trapped. He didn't know what to do to make this right. To change everything back to the way it always used to be. He knew he couldn't.<p>

He should've been dead a long time ago. He should've never been alive. Who was stopping him from killing himself and taking the easy way out? Dean hates him anyway, so why didn't he do that a long time ago? Dean would've been happy.

After all, he's only this 'worthless piece of shit' to him these days.

He let a few more tears fall down from the corner of his eyes as he laid on a fetal position. His arms still covering his head. Before closing his eyes and willing himself to stop crying.

Didn't he deserve all of this?

He turned on his back slowly, uncurling himself and put his palms flat on each side. Lifting himself up slowly and reached for the glass on the nightstand that had been there for a few days. He was exhausted and freakin' thirsty.

And really, could it get any worse? It was out of his reach. Just like everything else.

His fingers brushed the glass and he reached further. Only to knock it off the table and pieces of glass scattering around the floor.

His eyes widened in panic and terror. His heart quickened as he saw Dean at the doorway. "I.. I'm so sorry. I d-didn't mean to." He swallowed. "Please" He doesn't think he could take another beating. His breaths came out shaky as Dean started approaching him. He could feel his heart hammering against his chest and his eyes filled with tears as he stared with terrified doey eyes. He fell to his side on instinct and covered his head with his arms. His whole body was trembling, trying to keep his sobs at bay.

But this time. He ran up here in panic. Not anger. But concern for his brother. For the first time in a long time. He watched sadly at his brother as he fell to his side and covered his head. Expecting another beating.

And for the first time in a long time as he watched his little brother cry.

His heart clenched.

* * *

><p>Hey guys! So I'm desperately hoping that you enjoyed this. God, writing Dean abusive was horrible for me. But if anyone is going to have a go at me. I think you should know that I love Dean and this is for story purposes. I don't enjoy writing bad Dean. Just big brother Dean. :)<p>

And scared Sam. :P


	15. Chapter 15

A/N.

Hey guys! Last chapter. I hope you enjoy this.

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><p>He sat slowly on the edge of his terrified brother's bed, who curled into a fetal position on his side, covering his head with his arms. And for the first time, he didn't know what to do to comfort him and make him feel better. So he just took out the key from his pocket, took hold of his hand and opened the handcuff that surrounded his raw wrist.<p>

Dean lifted him up and put his arm around his back and neck, brought his cheek to his shoulder and let his hand wander under the back his head. He did try to fight him off but then, he gave up and slumped against his big brother when he realized that he was being held.

"T'hurts, D'n." He whispered brokenly.

Dean blinked back his tears, knowing what it meant. Everything he's said, everything he blamed him for. All the strikes and the blows, all from the only person he has right now, other than Bobby.

How could he let it get to this? How could he let his rage and grief at his little brother get in the way of their relationship?

"I know that, kiddo." He tightened his hold around his baby brother. He knew that his little brother was trying to quiet his sobs. He drilled that into his head by calling him a freakin' baby. "It's alright, Sammy. Just let it all out, okay? It's alright."

He lets him cry on his shoulder, lets his jacket soak with his brother's tears. _It's not alright.. nothing is_. He thought brokenly. He rubs his back and tilts his head a little to plant a soft kiss to his head.

He quiets down eventually. Too exhausted from crying, he falls asleep under the safety and comfort of his big brother.

"I'll take care of you, alright? I promise." He whispers quietly to his sleeping brother and hides his face under his hair.

"I gotcha." He whispers into his hair.

* * *

><p>A soft smile tugged up at Bobby's lips as he watched the brothers. Everything seems fine now. He turned away to face Dean. He sighed of relief and joy and let another smile form around his lips, this time, directing it at Dean. He wanted to thank the kid but he didn't know how. So he just shrugged and said.<p>

"I don't know how you did it, but you did it." He clasped a hand on his shoulder. "Thanks kid."

He smiles back. "So, how did the hunt go?" Dean asked.

"I guess, it went well. Though those damn shapeshifters are nasty creatures, I'll tell ya that."

"I know." He agreed.

"You should get some rest, kid. Ya look a little beat." Bobby said as he noticed the slumped shoulders.

Dean nodded and walked downstairs to go sleep on the couch. He was out of Bobby's sight already. He still wondered if he'll ever get back to his world. It's been a lingering question in his mind ever since he got here. But right now, he could use some rest.

He looked at the clock before continuing to pass on, a sudden realization hit him as he looked back at the clock, knitting his eyebrows in confusion. The time had stopped. No wait, scratch that, everything had stopped.

He looked around for a while, trying to comprehend what the hell was going on. Was it some sort of supernatural creature?

He heard the rustling of wings and whirled around just in time to see a man in a trench coat. Oh, of course. "Ca - " He didn't have any time to say anything further as two fingers to his forehead interrupted him, and after that. All he saw was blackness.

* * *

><p><strong>Real Universe<strong>

Bobby sat beside Dean. Sam was out to get the groceries that Bobby had asked.. Or more like forced him to get. That kid was just as pig-headed as his own daddy used to be. He refused to leave Dean's side, no matter how much he threatened him. After making another stupid deal of not bothering him for a few more days. He agreed and finally went out.

He sighed as he stared at Dean's face. He doesn't understand what the hell is happening. His vitals were fine, breathing fine, heart rate normal, and pulse beating normally. "Ya need to wake up, kid." He sighed. "Your brother's gonna kill himself if he keeps doing this to himself."

Still nothing.

He leaned back on the chair. His eyes never left Dean's closed ones.

In his peripheral vision, he could've sworn he saw a twitch in Dean's hand. Or maybe he just thought he did. His eyes fell to his hand. And there it was again, another twitch. His eyes widen in surprise and a relieved smile started forming its way around his lips. "Dean!"

He stood up and bent over him, staring down at him. His smile widened even further as the young hunter'a eyes fluttered open. He let out a joyful and relieved sigh. He helped him sit upright as he grabbed his shoulders.

"What happened?" His voice was hoarse from his dry throat and the lack of use.

Bobby decided to ignore that question as he said. "Well, you finally decided to wake up, princess. What the hell were you waiting for? Prince charming?" He joked.

A small chuckle made it's way out of his throat but it ended soon enough. He furrowed his eyebrows as he looked around, his eyes frantically searching for Sam. He still didn't know if he was still in that world or if he was back at his own universe. He looked at Bobby. "Wh.." He wanted to ask where Sam was, but knew his voice would sound funny.

But luckily, Bobby seemed to understand the question. "He went out to get some groceries. Damn, it took a lot of threatening to move him out of your side. He'd sit beside you, twenty-four-seven. Barely left your side. That idjit." He shook his head in exasperation, but at the same time, felt pride for the kid for always being there for his big brother. Like he was always there for him. But there relationship's been kinda.. Well, they just didn't seem to be like they used to be. "He barely slept, barely ate ever since that day when you decided to go comatose on us."

He heard a sound of the door creaking open and closing and then, Sam yelling out. "Bobby! I got all the groceries!"

"Well, here he is." He smiled at Dean.

Dean felt pride and love for his brother at Bobby's words. He's finally back into his own world.

Sam walked in but froze at the door as he saw Dean. Sitting upright, awake and fine. "Dean?" He breathed out his name in excitement and amazement, joy and happiness at finally seeing his green eyes.

Dean felt so relieved at the lack of bruises that he's seen on the other world Sam's face. He could still feel bile rising in his throat everytime he thought about it. But he did have dark circles around his eyes.

Sam was just about to run to his big brother, throwing his arms around his neck like when he was five years old. But stopped himself just in time. He betrayed Dean. Dean hates him. He probably wouldn't wanna be touched by his bloody murderous hands. He swallowed down the lump in his eyes and blinked back his tears. He stepped back. "Um.. Do you need anything?" He asked.

A heartbeat. "No." _'Cause I've got everything I need. Right here._

"I'll get you a glass of water, alright? Just sit tight." Sam offered. He started walking off until he heard his name being called by Dean.

Softly, he called out his little brother's childhood name. "Sammy."

Sammy. God he missed being called that. He faltered for a moment before turning to Dean slowly. "Yeah, Dean?"

He watched as he got up slowly. He started moving towards him and before he knew it. He felt two arms wrapped around him. His back and one of his hand on the back of his neck. He allowed himself to melt into the embrace as he hesitated before nestling his face into his big brother's shoulder.

Bobby watched the boys with a smile. The end of the world, Lucifer. Heaven and hell, angels and demons. They be damned. 'cause right now, it was just two brothers. Two souls, broken and played. Right now, it was just family.

An invisible figure watched the brothers. "Thank god. My plan has worked." Castiel's gravelly toneless voice whispered.


	16. Chapter 16

Hey guys! Ok, so I had to add another chapter to this story! You guys were making me feel bad. :P This one's for all of you! and thanks for all your support, I know I haven't replied to you guys.

Beta'd by bearberry915. She's awesome!

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><p><strong>Chapter 16<strong>

**Alternate Universe**

Sam woke up slowly and looked around the room, he was the only one there. He sat upright and looked down at his hand, it wasn't chained anymore. He sighed and bit his lip guiltily. He knew what he was about to do would hurt Bobby, but at that point, he didn't know what to do. He was so tired, so sick of everything. The guilt, the pain, the anger in Dean's eyes every time he looked at him. He was tired of it all. Sam knew he deserved to suffer, he knew he didn't deserve the easy way out of this life. But he also knew that nobody deserved to put up with him, especially Dean and Bobby. They didn't deserve to live with a freak like him.

So maybe he does deserve to die, maybe he's doing the right thing. He's probably doing it for selfish reasons too, but he doesn't feel like caring. He's scared, but happy with his idea.

Sam swung his legs over the edge of his bed and slowly limped to the doorway. His body was still aching from the prior bruises, along with the new ones. But it'll all be over soon. He looked out to see if anyone was out here.

No one. He slowly walked back inside and walked to the duffel bag, clutching his midsection. He pulled out one of Dean's guns. His own duffel bag was under his bed, but he didn't feel like walking all the way to his bed and then bending down to pull it out.

Feeling the weight of the .45, Sam stared at it. Slowly turning the safety off, he swallowed down the lump in his throat as he stared at it. _This is the right thing_, he reminded himself. Bobby will be alright without him and Dean would be happy, right?

All his life he had only lived for Dean, because he didn't want him to be alone. He knew that Dean always thought it was his responsibility to take care of him, and he knew that if he ever died, Dean would be beating himself up for it, he'd think it was his fault. What's worse is that he'd probably make a deal again, and if that didn't work, he'd just kill himself to join him.

But not anymore.

Dean has Bobby and the Impala while Bobby has Dean, Ellen, and Jo, they'll both be alright. Who needs him?

Sam huffed out a bitter laugh. _That's right, No one_. Tears welled up in his eyes.

He took a deep breath as he stared at the heavy weight in his hand. As he tried to control his shaky breathing and his trembling hand, he willed himself to stop crying like a baby and be strong. Slowly, he brought the gun to the side of his head and closed his eyes before whispering to himself, "Dean will be happy. Bobby will be alright. Everything will be alright - It'll all be over soon." He bit his lip and was about to pull the trigger until he felt a firm hand slamming his bruised back against the wall. His wrist was held in a tight and firm grip, and he couldn't stop the gasp that escaped his mouth.

"What the hell do you think you were doing!" Dean yelled angrily as he fisted Sam's collar.  
>Sam flinched, "I'm sorry." He whispered.<p>

"**YOU'RE FREAKIN' SORRY!**" Dean yelled, he stared at Sam for a while before letting him go, causing him to fall to the ground. Dean just sat there, staring at the floor. "**WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!**" He screamed at his little brother.

"I th-thought you'd be happy..." Sam mewled in a small voice. It almost made him look like a six year old.  
>Dean stared at Sam with wide eyes. He fell on his knees and grabbed Sam's shoulders, trying to shake sense in him. "YOU THOUGHT I'D BE HAPPY? COMING INTO THE ROOM <strong>TO FIND YOUR BRAIN SPLATTERED ON THE FREAKIN' WALL<strong>?" Sam let out a whimper as he clenched his eyes shut. "M'sorry!"

Dean stared at Sam, his face looked stressed. Dean continued, "To find you dead?" He asked softly, unshed tears forming in his eyes.

Sam buried his head into his knees.

Dean turned away from Sam as he stood up, holding his head and trying to control whatever it was he was feeling.  
>Sam lifted his eyes a little and swallowed as tears streamed down his face. "I'm just so tired, Dean..." He whispered sadly, "I just want peace."<p>

He turned to face Sam, "And what about me? What am I going to do? Knowing that my baby brother committed suicide to make me happy!"

"You _will_ be happy, Dean." Sam replied, lifting his head and staring at Dean sadly. "You won't have to deal with me – You won't have to be reminded, that you have a freak for a little brother - who started the end of the world." He said in a small, quiet, sorrowful voice.

Dean watched Sam sadly as his little brother tried to hide his tears by looking down, letting his hair curtain his face. Dean bit his lip as he slowly walked towards Sam.

He sat beside him, letting his back rest against the wall and leaned ahead a little to stare at his brother's face. "You're not a freak, Sammy. You're just human. We made this mess together, not just you, and we're gonna clean it up like we always do."

He draped a hand over his shoulder and brought his little brother's head to his own shoulder. "You were six months old." He sighed. Unsure why he was telling him that, "I was only four when dad handed me to you, to take you out of that fire - I didn't know what was happening. I just knew that I had to get you out of there. And I swore to you and to myself that very moment– that I would be the one to take care of you, to protect you from everything."

Sam didn't answer, he just stayed quiet. Knowing what it meant, Dean continued.

"My point is," He sighed heavily, "I' haven't been doing that lately. I've been an ass to you, ya know. I mean, I made you think so badly of yourself. I let my rage get in the way of us, but Sammy, you have to believe me, I never meant any of it. I thought I did, but I didn't." He closed his eyes but it didn't feel as hard as he thought it would. "I love you, Sammy. _You_, you are the best thing that's ever happened to me. So don't you dare - take it away from me." Dean whispered, letting a tear slip but decided to ignore it.

There was a long silence before it was broken. "Love you too, De." Sam whispered, swallowing. He shifted to make himself comfortable. "Always did."

* * *

><p><strong>Real Universe<strong>

Sam and Dean sat on the hood of the Impala with a beer. It was early morning, and they watched the sunrise that was a mixture of yellow, orange, and red. Sam wanted to ask Dean about what happened, but he didn't know how to. Their relationship has just been newly repaired, and he didn't wanna ruin it. But he wanted to know, he had seen the look on Dean's face a couple of times, a combination of sorrow and fear. Sam knew there was something that was eating away at his big brother, something that scared him so much. It was only yesterday when Dean came out of his comatose state that scared Sam so much. Actually, he was about to give up hope, thinking his brother would never wake up. But Sam didn't give up and then Dean really woke up.

Sam faltered for a moment before hesitantly asking, "Hey Dean?"

"Yeah?" Dean asked, his eyes not leaving the view.

"What happened?"

"What?" Dean looked at him, confused.

"When you were... Y'know, comatose or something." Sam said, raising his eyebrows expectantly when no answer came.

Dean looked back at the view. "I don't know, it was all black. Or maybe I just don't remember." He shrugged, lying through his teeth.

Sam watched his brother as he took another swig of his beer. "You're lying. I can see it in your eyes."

"No I'm not." Dean stubbornly disagreed.

Sam sighed. "Dean..."

"Sam, I'm not, okay? It was nothing." snapped Dean. Realizing what he had just done, and Dean was grateful when Sam didn't flinch when he raised his voice.

"Dean..." Sam tried again, putting on his puppy dog eyes, knowing Dean could never resist those.

Dean stared at Sam feeling the familiar feeling of himself falling for his trick. Before he knew it, he found himself saying. "Fine."

Sam sighed gratefully as he turned his body, facing Dean and letting him know that he was all ears.

"I..." Dean sighed, he had no idea how to put it. "You..." He swallowed the bile that suddenly rose in his throat. "Oh, God. You were being abused, Sammy..." he trailed off. Suddenly, he felt all the continents from his stomach rise up to his throat and he rolled off the hood. After emptying the contents of his stomach, he fell back against the car, letting it support his back. Sam rubbed his back in comfort as he sat beside him. "You okay?"

Dean nodded as he breathed heavily.

"By who?" Sam asked hesitantly.

Dean stopped, terrified. He didn't know what Sam's reaction would be, once he knew. Would he be angry? Sad? Hurt? Scared?

Dean took a deep breath before responding in a low voice,"By me. Sammy... I.." He shook his head, unable to continue.

Sam stared at Dean calmly. Moving his eyes to his hands on his lap he sighed. "Maybe... Maybe I deserved it." He mumbled sadly before shrugging.

But Dean heard him clearly and furrowed his eyebrows in response. "What the hell do you mean?"

Sam looked at Dean mournfully and for the first time, Dean saw all his emotions as he stared into his baby brother's eyes. His eyes showed guilt, self-hatred, self-loathing, pain, hopelessness and all kinds of insecurities.

"I deserved it." He whispered sorrowfully. "I mean, I started the end of the world... I-I betrayed you... I-" His voice began to shake as his eyes welled up.

"I don't care." Dean said, "I don't care what you did and I don't ever want to hear that from you ever again." Dean demanded in a firm voice, "Or else I swear, I'm gonna kick your ass so hard, you won't even have one anymore."

Sam couldn't help but let out a soft chuckle.

"I'm serious, Sam." He said earnestly. "I don't want to hear that from you, okay? You're my little brother, and I'll _never_ do that to you. We made this mess together, Sammy, not just you."

"I should've kn-"

"You couldn't have. The angels wanted you to start the apocalypse, Sam. For all I know, they're fully to blame." Dean held his gaze as he stared at Sam's brown, chocolate eyes. "You understand?"

Sam nodded. "Yeah." He gave a huge grin, Dean's favorite dimpled one, before hugging Dean.

Dean rolled his eyes and sighed as he hugged back.

"I knew you loved chick-flick moments!" Sam exclaimed playfully.

"You started it!" Dean defended, smile twitching on his lips.

"Love you Dean." Sam whispered, burying his head into Dean's shoulder.

"I'm so not going that far." Dean pouted stubbornly.

He paused, giving a sigh before replying, "Love you too, bitch."

**THE END**


End file.
